that little faith i have

it’s been ages since i blogged here i guess
been busy with many things
school, new friends, old friends, church, and finding who am i
this year past like a flash
and im taking ‘A’s next year. you must be kidding!

well, i just felt like writing my relationship with God this year
i can say, it’s really not strong, maybe it wasn’t even strong to start with i would say
i start wondering to myself, did i go church for Him, or for my friends or someone else
i’ve never questioned about Him, never wanted to go that extra mile to learn more about Him.

maybe i really went church just to socialise and not to find God and putting Him in the centre of my life
and now i do feel guilty =(
ever since i was baptise, or even before i was baptised, i didn’t know Him well enough
all i’ve learnt is just basic knowledge about Him
these 3 years in my new baptised life, i can say i took God for granted
i only looked for Him when i needed His help
many a times i know i shouldn’t do that, but i couldn’t help it
it’s my fault yet im not doing anything to change it.

till this year, my faith has not increased at all.
3 years of being a failed catholic
and still God was there whenever i needed Him, whenever i wasn’t feeling great
the love from Him is indescribable.

this year, i found this special friend who is a christian
and it was hard to be in the middle of 2 religion which are alike but different in their own ways
he posted many questions about God, about our practices
and i didn’t know how to answer even a question about it
and i came to realise that i didn’t know anything about Him
i even doubted my own faith.
is it purely for Him, or just my friends that i kept going to church.

dear God,

i really seek for your forgiveness. im sorry for i have not been faithful to You but yet You were faithful to me for You are a faithful God. thank you Lord, for putting these questions before me that i actually ask about my faith.
thank you for allowing my friends to be always there for me! i pray i’ll put You in the centre of my life and to serve You whenever i can, in whatever i do and whatever i say. Lord, i pray i will grow more strongly and have a deeper relationship with you for God you are so good! i pray that i will not lose this faith even though challenges are placed in front of me this coming year. i do not know what You have planned for me, Lord, but i know, by Your ways, You will carry me through because i know You will never let me carry a boulder that is too big for me. thank You Lord for being there for me throughout this new year, and i pray i’ll be able to hear You more this coming year and to serve You and Your people more. im sorry Jesus for i have doubted you and i pray for Your guidance and discernment to go to a place where i’ll find You. in all these i pray.

Amen.

;(

;(

i guess i SUCK a lot at everything!!
i pray and hope that things will get better as they come along..
cause i guess this year, it has been quite horrible
but i can say i hanged on
and i can feel that im going to break down any moment, any time
it will come to the point when i really do fall into that bottomless pit
and by then, i won’t be able to save mysef.

well, for now, im still persevering.
i guess it’s difficult
i need someone to talk to right now at this moment.
everyone’s busy with their own things..
;(

well, the happier part
congrats to prischelle, daniele, denise, rachel, wyatt, shawn on their baptism
i hope they have a memorable time and that they won’t forget that magical moments!

hmmmm..
i think i need a break from everything
go to a far away place and never come back……

~ it’s the little imperfections that make you perfect~

I SUCK AT CHEERING PEOPLE UP!! ARGH ;(
oh man, im sad and sad =(

not the best day in school
i hope you cheer up, don’t cry baby
you know we all love you!

and and and joycelin may be leaving for NP!! ;((((((
well, i hope she gets in though cause she really would like to leave.
but i’ll miss her like crazy! (((

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((

this is how i feel..

Say you’re sorry
That face of an angel comes out
Just when you need it to
As I pace back and forth all this time
‘Cause I honestly believed in you
Holding on,
The days drag on
Stupid girl
I should have known, I should have known

That I’m not a princess
This ain’t a fairytale
I’m not the one you’ll sweep off her feet
Lead her up the stairwell
This ain’t Hollywood,
This is a small town
I was a dreamer before you went and let me down
Now its too late for you and your White Horse,
To come around.

Baby I was naíve,
Got lost in your eyes
I never really had a chance.
My mistake I didn’t know to be in love you had to fight to have the upper hand.
I had so many dreams about you and me.
Happy endings
Now I know

I’m not a princess
This ain’t a fairytale
I’m not the one you’ll sweep off her feet
Lead her up the stairwell
This ain’t Hollywood,
This is a small town
I was a dreamer before you went and let me down
Now its too late for you and your White Horse,
To come around.

And there you are on your knees
Begging for forgiveness,
Begging for me
Just like I always wanted,
But I’m so sorry

Cause I’m not your princess
This ain’t our fairytale
I’m gonna find someone, someday
Who might actually treat me well.
This is a big world,
That was a small town
There in my rear view mirror,
Disappearing now.
And it’s too late for you and your White Horse
Now its too late for you and your White Horse
To catch me now.

Oh whoa whoa whoa-oh
Try and catch me now
Oh
It’s too late
To catch me now.

~white horse by taylor swift~

anyway i got to see jan just the other day and crystal too!! miss them so much! well the only person whom i didn’t get to see was eleanor. wonder if she misses me. anyway meeting up soon?? i really do miss each and everyone of you!

so many things happen after someone came. it’s ruining my life, my feelings, my everything. it’s only ok if you weren’t here.
so much of being your friend in the beginning. i guess i’ve done a great job in making feel sooo welcomed by all of us. thanks!

bye;

whatever!

i can’t believe what just happened today
don’t want to talk about it
terribly upset!! heartbrokern
but what can i do?
there’s nothing, absolutely nothing
be that way if you want to
i on’t know and i don’t care
happy? i uess so
anyway HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!
argh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ok so school starts tomorrow
im kind of afraid how it will be like
maybe i’ll like it there i guess
my future seems bleak
am speechless
can’t find the right words to express how i feel

bye

what makes you different?

i have no idea what to update actually but well just to keep this alive i shall update.

chinese new year is coming but there’s no spirit of it because maybe of what happened over the past few months. but i’ll try to be happy.

hmmm.. i guess overtime i’ll be ok right? it’s time to let it go.

well i really don’t know what to write about. =( alright then bye people

Bright cold silver moon
Tonight alone in my room
You were here just yesterday
Slight turn of the head
Eyes down when you said
I guess I need my life to change
Seems like something’s just aren’t the same
What could I say?

I need a little more luck than a little bit
Cuz every time I get stuck the words won’t fit
And every time that I try I get tongue tied
I’ll need a little good luck to get me by

I need a little more help than a little bit
Like the perfect one word no one’s heard yet
Cuz every time that I try I get tongue tied
I need a little good luck to get me by this time

I stare up at the stars
I wonder just where you are
You feel a million miles away
(I wonder just where you are)
Was it something I said?
Or something I never did?
Or was I always in the way?
(Was it something I did?)
Could someone tell me what to say to just make you stay?

I need a little more luck than a little bit
Cuz every time I get stuck the words won’t fit
And every time that I try I get tongue tied
I need a little good luck to get me by

I need a little more help than a little bit
Like the perfect one word no one’s heard yet
Cuz every time that I try I get tongue tied
I need a little good luck to get me by this time

I know it feels like the end
Don’t want to be here again
And we could help each other off the ground so we never fall down again
What it takes I don’t care
We’re gonna make it I swear
And we could help each other off the ground so we never fall down again
Again

I need a little more luck than a little bit
Cuz every time I get stuck the words won’t fit
But every time that I try I get tongue tied
I need a little good luck to get me by

I need a little more help than a little bit
Like the perfect one word no one’s heard yet
Cuz every time that I try I get tongue tied
I need a little good luck to get me by this time

I know it feels like the end
Don’t want to be here again
And we could help each other off the ground so we never fall down again
What it takes I don’t care
We’re gonna make it I swear
And we could help each other off the ground so we never fall down again

laughing is contagious!

when did i even last update? rights i can’t even remember myself. that’s how long i’ve not blogged. well, i’ll try my best to revive it. i went bloghopping.. and i realised many just wrote about what they do everyday. hahaha maybe im not the kind writing about my everyday life.

oh anyway, life’s not been that great i guess but i think i’ll learn to be positive and hope that the next day will be a better day!  i guess life will be more interesting being sad and happy.. if not it will be a bore.

oh wells, when i took the bus back from work, TV mobile was broadcasting “just for laughs”, i think they should stop showing it.. cause whenever i watch it in the bus alone, i can’t help but just laugh. people may think that im crazy or something, laughing to myself. hahahahahaha

schools starting.. i really hope and pray hard. oh people please pray for me! i’ll pray for you all too! God i pray real hard! please answer my prayer!

New Year!

hey you people. sorry for not updating for like forever. hhahaha been so busy this whole holiday. well i guess, or maybe it’s because im lazy hahaha. i think it’s the second one. oops!

anyway so many different things happen be it sad or happy, all were cramped into this holiday. i’ve experienced the ups and downs of life this vacation. well, what an experience though! having to lose someone close to your heart is really difficult.
well then my first new year resolution will be: TO TREASURE AND CHERISH EVERYTHING YOU HAVE, BE IT BIG OR SMALL, BE IT FAMILY OR FRIENDS. FORGIVE AND FORGET THOSE WHO HAVE SINNED AGAINST YOU.

yup thanks to all my friends and family members who stood by me in that difficult times cheering me up being there. well i hope i had done my part for my family members and friends too.

oh yes ADVENT camp was fun i guess. but everything happened in a flash. didn’t have time to stop and think. 3 days zoomed away. i really hope those campers( is there such word, NO!) enjoyed the camp. it was my very first time planning those activities. im sorry if it was not that well-planned.

caroling was superb, sharing the joy with others. some of them were so touched that they teared or even cried. well that touched me.

oh yes, thank you all my friends, eleanor, crystal, jan, paula, ros, fran, clarise, felicia, ronners, yvonne, prischelle, cheryl, cecilia, maryann, hui geok, camelia, germaine,shaun, daniele, matthew, joel, denise, rachel, charmaine, dorothy, belinda, kristen, jerald, andrew, gabby, christabelle and the rest who knows me. thank you for all the fun times i had with you all. love!! =)

well.. one new year resolution in this post. more to come i guess. bye!

EVENTS!!!!

it’s been so long since i updated. actually i did, but all of them said that that 26 words in that previous post is not called updating. -_-” at least i wrote something i guess. lol =) let’s see some pictures

GRAD NIGHT!!

movie under the stars

wedding

oh well that’s all that happened. wait there’s other things. oh wait there are.. i shall update somemore pictures.

east coast park
sheesh no pictures!! oh man. there is but it’s in my phone too lazy.
well something really funny happened on our way there
eleanor:does this bus goes to east coast
bus driver: yes
eleanor: where do we aliight if we want to go east coast?
bus driver: where do you want to go?
eleanor: east coast park
bus driver: where do you want to go?
eleanor: erm, EAST COAST PARK
bus driver: i know you want to go east coast park, but where do you want to go?
eleanor and i looked at each other blurred…
bus driver: east coast park so big, the chalet, cycling track or where.
oh rights. hahahahahahahhahahah so that’s the funny part. goshness can’t believe it. hahahaha so funny

and theres council farewell too!!

so that’s all about it i guess!!
yippeei updated!!

anyway i pray for all those who was involved in the  accident, be it physically or emotionally!! Lord, i pray they will have a speedy recovery!!

hey BACK!

rights hi im back and a lot of things happen i guess, lol, all you can name! ok no im just exaggerating. shall update again yo! =)